Spiritual Warfare in full force

Hi to all! This is my first blog so please bare with me... it may sound kind of rusty :)

Just wanted to get some stuff off my mind and i thought what better way than to put it out on the internet... ha just kidding... maybe someone reading this has gone through this already and can send some God-filled encouragment my way.

Just to kind of give you a back ground of me and my family first...
My husband and I got married 7 years ago. He was my everything... so i thought. At first, everything was good... like it was "suppose" to be. We had a beautiful wedding, moved into our rented place - life was good. Then week 2 was here. Reality kicked in. His friends started coming over ALL the time. We fought ALL the time... it was bad. I got an offer from my work to move to Northern MS. We talked about it and thought it would be a good idea to get out of Columbus. (this was all 7 yrs ago)
We move to the MS TN line. I moved up in my job - he found a job and because he had no friends up here - we actually had a life together. Well... the guys at his job started asking him to do things with them and well you can guess where this is going. Yep. Back to a one person marriage. Anywho... I accepted it and went on very unhappy. I ended up getting pregnant with Gracie, now almost 4 years old and i just knew things were going to get better... big suprise - it didn't!

Mike did his own thing and it was really just me and gracie all the time. (she was my little side kick :)) Around January 3rd, i was talking to a "friend" and she told me some disterbing news. That was it - i was calling it quits. I went and got a lawyer and came home one afternoon and woke him up (he worked 3rd shift at that time). I let him know what all i had found out and told him i wanted a divorce. B/c of what i knew, he knew there was no point in fighting to oppose it. He told me (for the 100th time) that he would go get help (for his drinking...and smoking pot (which i had just found out about)...and looking at dirty magazines and well you get the point. I told him, "yes, you do need help... not for me and you because its too late for that, but you need to help yourself. You are going down the wrong path and FAST". January 7th he went to our church office (we had attended only a couple of times so that was the only place he could think to go - which now we know was all Gods plan :). He spoke to one of the pastors there and they were willing to help him. They called me to see if i would come by there on my way home from work just to kind of give my side of the whole story. at first, i didn't want to but i kept getting this "feeling" that i should go. I went, and hearing the godly words come out of that Pastors mouth and the godly atmosphere, it hit me like a ton of bricks. "if i am a child of God (which i'll get to here shortly), I can't get divorced." FOR BETTER OR WORSE - THROUGH SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. After talking with the pastor, i had a feeling that i didn't want to let God down. So that night, mike came home and i told him that i was willing to work our marriage out if he would be willing. On January 8th 2007, my husband, Michael, gave his life, heart, soul, thoughts, words EVERYTHING to our Savior, Jesus Christ! OH MY WORDS!!!! I NEVER EVER EVER EVER knew this man ever existed in this body!!! Hear me when i say this, ONLY GOD HIMSELF DID THIS. This man, my husband, the father of my child - was the most amazing human being that i had ever come in contact with. He no longer was just a person i was married to.... he was and is my HEART. He has a love for Jesus that would set you on fire! He has a passion for Him. With all that being said , we got pregnant with our 2nd daughter, Taylor Rae, now 4 months. She was colic for the first 2 months and i honestly didn't think i was going to make it. Mike was so helpful with her, he was so calm with her. That made me start having these "feelings". I kept thinking i was missing something. The thought, Am i truely a child of God. I kept telling myself, sure i am... i remember when i was "6" and i said the prayer... i know now that it was all the devil telling me that. he knew i was questioning my salvation so he was putting telling me all this time, yeah... youre saved... you sure are. All the while, God was telling me to wake up and listen to what my heart is telling me. WELL :)........... May 24th 2008, i gave my life to Christ. WOW!!!!! Do you know how amazing that feeling is?!?!?!?! Its so funny... now, everything i do, to even the smallest things.. like cooking supper... is focused all on God. I could go out and check my mailbox and there be tons of bills just waiting for me to pick through them to decide.... which one can i pay this week, and I give glory to God. not for all the bills... but for me to be able to WALK to the mailbox, or for the house He has provided for us and the lights He gives us... just the smallest to the largest things.......... everything is focused on Him! its amazing.

Now... back to my spiritual warfare. Its so funny because just last night, my husband and i were talking about how we feel the devil is about to attack us for all the good works we are trying to do to glorify God. Ha... i love how God trys to warn us so we can be prepared because this morning, the devil was waiting on me.... Its like he was sitting at my computer, laughing, waiting for me to turn it on. i logged into the interent, pulled up our bank website, logged on and there it was.... our beautiful balance. Not negative, yet... but would be after just 1 thing went through and still out 4 items out, that hadn't cleared yet. God has made it possible for my family for me to become a stay at home mom. i love every minute of it. its hard on one income so i try to keep a tight balance so atleast our bills get paid and our children are provided for. The girls went to my parents house for the weekend to visit so mike and i had the weekend to ourselves. we had a blast. we went to dinner friday night, went bowling with some friends from church, Saturday we went and visited a friend thats in the hospital in ICU. (please pray for him, Charlie. he was on a motorcycle and was hit by a car last Sunday night. he has been in icu since and his lungs are still having a hard time working so he is on life support) We came home from the hospital cooked for the family (they are close friends to us) and took a full course HOT meal to them back to the hospital and just loved on them. Got up Sunday morning and went to church (we are Cafe leaders for the 5th and 6th graders :)) then went back to the hospital just visit with Charlie for a few minutes then went and picked up our little angels. We had a good time this weekend. Us not watching our spending and not balancing our checkbook ALL weekend, well... we spent too much money. Money that was for bills... anyway, that is what has happened today. Of course, the devil used this to get to mike and i and so our morning consisted of A LOT of yelling. After about 2 hours of it, God hit us both in the back of the head and we woke up. We let the love of God burst within us and the love we have for each other finally took over and stopped the yelling. We talked about it, let God guide us and with us still going to have to learn our lesson the hard way, God has provided.

I HATE the devil. But, I love our Lord and Savior. It wasn't a good morning but God has made it a much better day. Nothing extravagant has happened and we didn't have money just pop up in our checking account... but He has humbled us. We know He hears us. We know He knows we are going to face battles. But it makes me so much more peaceful knowing He is on our side. I feel so sorry for anyone who doesn't know Jesus Christ and is going through some sort of battle. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to go through a hard time and not have Him beside me, lifting me up and hold me. "COME TO ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST", He says. How true that is. Thank you Jesus. Thank you God for loving me and michael enough to send your son, Jesus to die on the cross so that we may have rest.

If anyone is going through spiritual warfare and you need us to pray for you, please let us know. Please pray for Michael and I. There is a lot going on in our lives right now and we know the devil is going to use an means necessary to destroy our love for Jesus and each other. Pray that we keep our heart and eyes open so that we look to God for strengh.